He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
