just tell him i said nine months
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
