New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just want nice things and good sex
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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