I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
