I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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