someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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