You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just want nice things and good sex
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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