I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
