i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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