These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
