i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
