I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
