I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
