Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
false alarm. still invincible.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
