Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
