plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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