That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
