After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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