I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The air was thick with penises
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
