If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize