Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
