therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
