I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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