Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
