Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
