That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
