My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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