too bad you live with your parents still
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The power of my boobs compel you
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize