Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
