but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
