I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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