He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
