i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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