you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
