I must be too annoying 4 u.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
my poor anus
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
