I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
