I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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