Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
