are you still at the devil's house?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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