You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
