I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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