Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Randomize