Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
