I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
