She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
