bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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