im six kinds of drunk right now
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
