I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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