But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
