i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
