Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
