i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
