Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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