Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
