Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
