I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
