I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
