did you get engaged???
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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