They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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