i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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