I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize