genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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